Things I Have Learned

I'm not the brightest bulb in the box sometimes - but I have learned a few things.

• Don't try to remove a splinter with a needle after drinking a pot of coffee.
• Don't prune shrubs after a few glasses of red wine.
• Fifteen tomato plants is too many for one person to ever possibly eat.
• It will only rain if you water the yard for five or more hours with the sprinkler or by hand in the heat.
• Be sure to read the plant tag carefully, there is a big difference between 10"-18" and 10'-18'. 
• When taking pictures of water plants, hold your phone VERY carefully over the water. 
• The day of your August garden party it will be 104 degrees.
• When your zucchini are the size of a newborn, nobody wants them.
• If you see a weed, pull it out then, don't leave it for later.
• Always wear your work gloves, even when you don't want to. Blisters suck!
• The hose will always manage to get caught in the hose-guards and smash the plants you were trying to protect.  
• If a plant is not thriving, move it or ditch it. 
• At a plant sale or nursery, if you are attracted to a plant, always buy it. If you pick it up and then set it down and don't buy it - you will regret it later. When you go back to get it - it will probably be gone...
• No matter how you are dressed, you will be too hot or too cold. 
• Hardiness-smardiness - try planting it anyway.
• No matter the Latin name of the plant - I will always pronounce it wrong.
• No matter where I put my trowel, I will find it in the last place I look.  
• Digging projects are always better with help.
• "Needs staking", usually means it needs support or will fall over and be a big pain in the butt.
• Never order plants on-line - they are rarely as good as you hope.
• Bird feeders = sprouted bird seed weeds everywhere.   
• Earwigs always freak me out. 
• Things will always get planted too close together. 
• Yes, that smacking sound is the dog eating cat pooh.
• Plants will reseed themselves just exactly where you don't want them.
• If the plant tag says "vigorous, spreading, rambunctious, etc" best not to buy it.
• I enjoy planting bean seeds more than I enjoy picking beans.
• Sharp tools work better, mower blades too.
• A lot of weeds look like they are not weeds.
• It's easier to eat raw veggies from the garden, while in the garden. Who needs cooking?
• You can never have too many Gnomes.

What have you learned?